Hi all, happy Thursday! Hard to believe March is right around the corner and soon it will be spring! Today I want to talk more in the area of family law. Divorce and separation can be incredibly stressful and emotional times, but people often forget that this stressful time has impacts on their children too. Today I want to share tips and ways to put your children first during a divorce, so that this emotional time is as smooth as possible for them.
1.) Don’t Talk Disrespectfully About Your Spouse in Front of Your Children. Divorce can be very messy. Sometimes the spouses no longer want to be in the same room as one another. But, even if this is the case, your children still have TWO parents who they love and care about very deeply. It is unfair to make them pick sides or talk badly about your spouse in front of them. It will only make a confusing situation worse and the child feel like they are in the middle, or worse, responsible for what is going on.
2.) Consider Collaborative Divorce or Mediation. As I have discussed in previous blogs, mediation, and collaborative divorce offer an out-of-the-courtroom option. If you and your spouse are agreeable to this method, it can help save time and money and be a less contentious situation for your children. It can also facilitate a discussion about what is best for the children and how to meet their needs during this time.
3.) Plan for the Children’s Future. Parenting plans, allocation of education money, and involvement in the children’s lives are all things both spouses can and should consider. Even though their lives will feel far from normal after a divorce, it is important to try and keep some of those things in place so that their world does not feel as if it has been turned upside-down and they know they can rely on the love and support from BOTH of their parents.
4.) Be Honest with Them. It is important for children to understand what is going on and the changes that are about to occur in their lives. Let them ask questions, express their sadness, anger, etc. and let them know that none of this is their fault and they are still just as important and loved by you and your spouse. Being honest before, during, and after a divorce process will help the children cope and adjust to these life changes.
5.) Don’t Treat your Children like Friends. Just because you have been open and honest with your children about the situation does not mean you can use them as a personal therapist or as you would one of your adult friends. It is okay to share emotions and confusion, but you should always be the one being their support system. Children should never have to feel like they must serve as some sort of confidant shoulder to cry on during their parents’ divorce.
Hopefully today’s blog helped you better understand how to make a divorce as smooth as possible for both you and your children. It is completely normal for everyone to not feel themselves and extra confused and emotional during this time, but it is also important to
remember to take care of yourselves and your family so that you can all get through this together. You can always reach out to our office with any questions or concerns.
**The thoughts and information contained in this blog are meant to be informational and do not serve as legal advice of any type. If you have questions about your divorce or legal case, please do not hesitate to contact our office.
Sources:
https://www.vaccalaw.com/7-tips-for-putting-children-first-in-a-divorce/ https://www.romanshum.com/blog/4-ways-to-put-your-kids-first-during-a-divorce/
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